what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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