gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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