i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
