the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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