found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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