We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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