I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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