she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
