Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize