He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
