This is not my ceiling
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
