she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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