i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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