just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
