and you said cock pushups were impossible
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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