Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize