Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize