There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.