just tell him i said nine months
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize