if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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