Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
