Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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