So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
