they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
