No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
