He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
