so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
