Where did you get a picture of my penis
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize