Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
