apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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