it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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