i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize