She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
