Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
