his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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