Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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