he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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