He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
