I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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