so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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