This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
