it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
