i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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