After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
