Are we in a gay sports bar?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize