i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
