their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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