Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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