so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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