This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
