i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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