its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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