I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
