Jerry, you need to find god
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
