bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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