Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
