they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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