i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
