That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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