I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
