her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
